NAR-19 Directions

Directions to the RBLR Hogwarts Non-Attendance Rally

Here’s how to not get there:

1. Fire up your bike… then turn it off again.
   (Revving in the driveway is acceptable. Riding anywhere is not.)
2. Do not follow signs marked “Hogwarts This Way”.
3. If you insist on using a sat-nav, enter postcode “NO1 NAR“
   It will re-route you in circles while muttering “are you sure?”
4. If you reach a country lane full of mist, potholes, and sheep that refuse to move,
   congratulations — you’ve reached North Wales. You’ve still gone too far.
5. Broomsticks are not road legal.
   No MOT. No tax. No insurance. No exception, even if it’s a Firebolt.
6. Should you accidentally arrive at Platform 9¾,
   do not attempt a wheelie through the wall.
7. Parking at the rally (which doesn’t exist) includes:
   • No bike park
   • No marshals
   • No cones
   • No muddy field
   • No bloke saying “you can squeeze one more in there”
8. Camping facilities:
   • No tents
   • No generators
   • No bacon butties
   • Definitely no portaloo with a broken lock
9. If by some miracle you hear someone shout “Last orders!”
   relax — it’s just Hagrid closing an imaginary bar.

Summary:
Stay home. Give the bike a polish. Tell everyone you definitely didn’t go — but that the Hogwarts Non-Attendance Rally was fantastic.

Now simply buy your NAR-19 Badge, wear it with pride, support the British Legion Poppy Appeal, and show the world that you didn’t attend the NAR-19 Hogwarts NAR 2026.